No Dome, No Problem

Things didn’t go my way yesterday. It is what it is. I didn’t expect my Broncos to even sniff the AFC Championship this year, never mind roll out a backup QB. I give the Broncos a lot of credit, they hung in with an MVP candidate to only lose by 3. But that’s not why you’re reading my words on this freezing, snowy Monday morning in northern Massachusetts. 

Like I wrote in the blog yesterday, Mother Nature had a bigger impact on the AFC Championship than any person who actually participated. Not sure if you saw (cause I couldn’t) but in the second half of that game, Denver did its best impression of what was happening in New England. The snow started falling and the wind whipped up into a frenzy. 

We went from an old school defensive slugfest, to an even older school wet, windy and wild slopfest. It brought every northerner who played football back to the one time in their career they played in a “snowbowl”. I could feel the bitter cold and helplessness of sliding in a direction I hoped was towards the ball carrier. Knowing that even these otherworldly athletes are brought back to earth because of a little frozen water falling from the sky, makes us feel a little more equal. To put it simply, snow games like yesterday are just a lot of fun. And who doesn’t like a little fun?

Well, I found an answer to that. 

While trying to graciously swat away celebrating Pates’ fans yesterday, I came across a rare tweet that made me actually stop and say, “I couldn’t have read that correctly.” To be fair, there may or may not have been some substances that may have clouded my reading comprehension abilities, but I confirmed what it said while sitting on my own super bowl. 

Before I tell you who said it, let me just provide the quote here and let you guess. If you’ve seen it, no cheating. “So glad this weather game is determining who is going to the SB!!!...” One more thing before I tell you, this person followed that statement with 8 “distressed faces vomiting”. I figured this must have come from a so-called “analyst” who is really just a nerd who failed out of finance school and now thinks they know all there is to know about what good football is. Maybe it was just a jaded casual observer that couldn’t see the end of the game as well as they wanted to and can’t handle it. I could even understand a jaded Broncos fan that was drunk and upset.

None of those are correct. Instead, this whiny, fun-hating comment came from a former Super Winning NFL QB. That’s right, the underdog of the late 90s and early 2000s, Kurt Warner took to Twitter to passive-aggressively complain about weather at a game he wasn’t even in. 

This complaint is actually right on brand for Warner. He ran the offense that was referred to as “the greatest show on turf” because the St. Louis Rams put up crazy numbers in their toasty warm dome. For years, Warner has been part of this strange cult of football people that think all NFL teams should play in a dome. 

Now, from an economical perspective, he’s not wrong. Stadiums like Gillette in New England, Mile High in Denver and Lambeau in Green Bay are missing out on some serious money not being able to hold concerts and other events due to weather. That’s where the NFL owners really make their money. It’s not just the games and ticket sales. The stadium is an asset that can bring in easy cash. Even in the warmer months, events get canceled due to lightning and extreme rain. So as teams prepare to build new stadiums, the money they could bring in with offseason cash cows is easy motivation to build a dome. 

But that’s not what Kurt Warner is saying. He just doesn’t like seeing teams forced to adjust from their schemes. He wants efficient, clean and mistake free football. That way a guy like him can act all high and mighty over how this particular play was two percentage points better than another and tell us blue collar, Joe Six Pack fans that he knows more than us. Ok Kurt, if you want that, go watch something a little more “controlled,” like the big bridge tournament at your local rest home. The best part about that is Kurt can give his boring takes over and over again, and three quarters of the residents won’t remember that he did the same thing the previous day. 

Of course, after that tweet, Warner took some abuse. As the kids say, he got ratioed in the comments. This is good. He made his bones in the NFL with a gritty, underdog story. Now that he can sit on his high horse and complain about a game being decided by grit and toughness. It’s embarrassing. 

The take itself is sad on its own. The really pathetic part was a subsequent tweet from Whiny Warner. After about an hour or so of being called a baby, Kurt fired back with this retort: “Always make me smile that people who didn’t watch me play call me “soft” bc of a tweet!! (dumb emoji) Fandom is the best.”

There are a few big takeaways here. First and foremost, enough with the emojis Kurt. You’re an adult and we aren’t discussing who you're taking to the 8th grade snowball.

The next thing is that, despite what he said, I don’t think Kurt finds it very funny when people call him “soft”. If he did, he wouldn’t have taken to Twitter an hour after getting bludgeoned in the replies. He would have at least had some sense of humor about it, and not turned it into a “I played in the NFL” schlong measuring contest. However, we shouldn’t be too shocked by this reaction. Warner is known for having some strong Christian beliefs, which is fine. But the devout Christians aren’t known for having self-awareness and good senses of humor. 

Don’t worry, the irony of me writing this on a day where my job is canceled due to weather isn’t lost on me. As a matter of fact, I find it funny. The difference is I’ll laugh about it when people mock my day off. Whereas Kurt Warner gets all sensitive and cries on Twitter. 

But as usual, there is a great solution for owners in the NFL that will also continue to annoy Kurt Warner. Teams are starting to build stadiums with retractable roofs that allow them to host indoor events and open it up when the weather fits their narrative. A great idea that will continue to annoy “Whiny” Kurt Warner…and I’m all for that.