Message from Blind Owl: Holy macaroni I suck. Like really suck. For that, I won’t bore you withg a long-winded intro. I’ll let Concret3Cowboy do the writing portion of this. He also did the records from last week because…Math hurts. So here’s Week 5, brought to you by the Cowboy.
Week 4 Records
Blind Owl: 3-12-1
Concret3Cowboy: 7-8-1
BrendawnoftheDead: 8-7-1
Goddamn, does the Owl stink. In my defense, I think not picking a game shouldn’t count as a lose just as it doesn’t count as a win but apples and oranges I suppose.
Total Records
Blind Owl: 22-38-2
Concret3Cowboy: 33-27-2
BrendawnoftheDead: 32-28-2
I believe the Owl is already eliminated from playoff contention. Is it at all surprising that I’m writing these out and doing the math for the records. I am the only one that didn’t finish college here. Not only is my grammar going to leave much to be desired but my math will be fundamentally flawed. I thought about cheating but not in a sly way.. I was just going to give them both 0 wins from last week. I only stopped myself for that would have just created more math. If you picked opposite of the Owl this season you would have have a solid lead on first place, I wonder how he sleeps at night.
MIA @ NE: NE -1
Blind Owl: Hurray!! Three hours of horrid quarterback play!! This game is going to be boring as all hell. Give me the Patriots I guess.
Concret3Cowboy: You know things are bad when the Pats are favored, even at home. I guess Tua is a major player in Miami.. or is this all a ploy to make Tua bigger than he is in the eyes of the beholder? Why didn’t Miami have a decent back up enter the year? We all know tua plays like a billy goat and can’t stay heathy. I guess I’ll take the Pats.
BrendawnoftheDead: Putrid, rancid, appalling, truly terrible matchup for anyone forced to tune in. The Patriots cannot score points and are injured to hell and back. The dolphins cannot score points and are injured to hell and back. Sounds like fun right?! Watch this one turn out to be shootout. At the beginning of the season I had money on Maye taking over for this game but maybe it's best that he sit this season out. The Patriots are going nowhere fast and they have the worst offensive line I've ever seen in professional football. Too bad they'll win here and screw up their draft pick.
LV @ DEN: DEN -2.5
Blind Owl: Ever since I got that football as a gift from my nephew, the Broncos are undefeated. It hasn’t been pretty but wins are wins. Keeping up with the theme of the day, this game is going to be boring. Vegas has their own issues but Denver’s running game looked decent against the Jets and the defense kept Aaron Rodgers in check. I’ll ride the good feelings. Go Broncos.
Concret3Cowboy: Defense.. I love it. I’ve become numb to the lack of offensive ability the Broncos have fielded the last decade. The streak that is against the Raiders (8 games, 4 years) bothers me more than anything, NFL related at least. It must end.
BrendawnoftheDead: Though not as bad as the first game make no mistake this is trash television. The Broncos threw for 60 while yards last week, but I'm sure they were thrilling yards… the Raiders are not better and are without a disgruntled DeVante Adams. I like Denver here but I'm not tuning in.
NYJ @ MIN (LONDON): MIN -2.5
Blind Owl: It’s probably not healthy, but rooting against players is more fun than rooting for others. Aaron Rodgers is one of my favorites to root against. He’s an insufferable douche who thinks he’s the smartest guy in the room because he throws a football pretty well. Turns out, he can’t even do that anymore. I’m picking the hot hand with the Vikings and actively hoping for Rodgers to suck.
Concret3Cowboy: The Jets are falling apart and Green Bay is seeming more and more right for pushing Aaron out the door. Even Aaron’s new buddy, Garrett is taking to podcasts saying how the offensive was more detailed with Zach Wilson at the helm. With Aaron in, it’s all Aaron’s way. Well Minnesota is going to do what the Vikings did in London hundreds of years ago. Rape houses and burn women.
BrendawnoftheDead: good team vs mediocre team with a struggling offense. The good team also has Justin Jefferson… Vikings win this one me thinks.
BUF @ HOU: BUF -1
Blind Owl: I have a feeling this isn’t the first time we’re going to see these two teams square off. This has potential playoff matchup written all over it. Somehow, after losing all of their veteran stars, it seems Buffalo is getting better, but they recently stumbled a bit. Meanwhile, Houston is having a bit of a sophomore slump, but still has looked quite good. Looking at the spread smart money has to go with Houston being home underdog.
Concret3Cowboy: I think Buffalo has this one. The big question is if Diggs and Allen do a little bro hug after the game. I’d imagine only if Houston wins.
BrendawnoftheDead: Both teams were recently dealt massive reality checks. The Bills lost too many pieces to hang with the conference elite and the Texans were overconfident for a team that hasn't won anything yet. I like Houston at home to cover, I think they have more ways to win barring a superhuman effort from Josh Allen.
NO @ KC: KC -5.5
Blind Owl: The Saints have cooled off. They were the darlings of the league for about two weeks. As much as it pains me to say it, KC is the class league until somebody beats them. I don’t see the Saints putting up much of a fight here unfortunately and the Chiefs will just keep rolling on.
Concret3Cowboy: The Chiefs are one of the worst teams covering spreads the whole time we’ve done these games. This is the exact kind of game they prove that to still be correct. Who Dat.
BrendawnoftheDead: Even though Mahommes took out his best weapon at the knees, he's still good enough to cover this spread. The saints are pretenders, the Chiefs are not. Derek Carr has been average his entire career and that will continue here. Average doesn't beat KC.
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