You know how I know this country is a little too in love with sports betting? It’s not the incessant commercials on YouTube or the painful Gronk “kick of destiny” ads I’ve been hearing on Spotify. What really tells me we’ve got an issue is the amount of prop bets on one game of NFL football.
I know they’ve been doing these things for years, but now we’re betting on Taylor Swift related things instead of just normal dumb wagers regarding the color of a sports drink. It’s troubling to say the least and it needs to be stopped at all costs.
With that said, here is an appetizer for the BO Blog picks finale where the other two goons and I pick these dumb prop bets for your entertainment and our torture. Enjoy this on your Saturday and look for our game picks coming on Sunday!
National Anthem Length Over/Under: 91 Seconds
Blind Owl: I don’t care what anyone says, going back at least a decade, Brendawn and I have deemed this the most important bet of the Super Bowl. It is that simple. For a decade now, we’ve put a coffee on the line for this one. We’ve both had our ups and downs, but nothing compares to the Super Bowl 50 debacle where Lady Gaga literally repeated the final line of the Star Spangled Banner. I’ll never forgive her for that.
Since I made this document we’re typing on, I get to pick this one first so haha Brendawn. The performer this year is Reba McEntire. She has the lowest Over/Under in recent history, which leads to most hammering the over. Probably smart seeing how these singers love to ham it up with these anthems. But, there’s an old saying in sports that I am going to ride with here. Father time is undefeated. I’m not saying Reba is ancient, but she isn’t a spring chicken either. At the age of 68 I think she’s going to go with a quick, powerful anthem. She’s just going to leave it all out there in a tight minute and twenty second performance. Give me the under. Reba should know, if she lets me down, a hit piece on her lousy sitcom is coming right after. Yeah, I’m that petty.
Concret3Cowboy: Reba does not have the wind to go over 91 seconds. That’s why I’ll take the over.. Vegas wants me to take the under.
BrendanwoftheDead: let it be known that last year was one of two occasions that I bet wrong on this, but you know what? Chris Stapleton absolutely f**king crushed his performance and I'm ok with surrendering a coffee for it. In similar fashion, reba will treat the anthem with respect and go just over.
First Head Coach on Camera: Reid/Shanahan
Blind Owl: I’m going with Ole’ Reliable on this one. It’s a simple math equation. Andy Reid physically takes up more space than Kyle Shanahan. His sheer mass will win this prop bet. The big tomato will be shown first. Maybe by accident in the background of an aerial shot, but he’ll be visible, even to me.
Concret3Cowboy: I fucking hate the Chiefs so much. I just want it to be over. I’ve enjoyed ignoring thr media week and just forgetting the NFL is a thing. As for this prop bet, when does the clock start? Like I’ve said it’s media week.. so they’ve been on camera.. it’s the end of the season and I’m assuming both coaches have been on a camera. Is it during the game? During the anthem? During the pre game ordeal? Directions unclear, but I’ll take Reid.
BrendanwoftheDead: to be different, let's go shanahan. I can't disagree with the owl’s logic, Reid takes up a lot of real estate but the camera's will be more focused on Taylor Swift when they plan to the Chiefs.
First QB on Screen: Mahomes/Purdy
Blind Owl: Easiest bet on this page. Even though the story of Brock Purdy is 100x better than Mahomes retuning to the Super Bowl. The media just loves Mahomes. There is absolutely no way they show Purdy first. In a weird way, I’m actually starting to feel bad for Mahomes. He is clearly the most tolerable member of his family (which isn’t saying much) and he is pretty good. But still, the obsession with him is nauseating.
Concret3Cowboy: WHEN DOES THE CLOCK START!!!!! Anytime Sunday??? Mahomes for sure, the NFL is hard pushing to make him the brand guy. I hate the Chiefs so much. You know, out of all the reasons for it.. I really hate the way Mahomes runs, it’s like he’s got to poop or something.
BrendanwoftheDead: mahomes, no brainier. Purdy is an average looking dude while mahomes is the face of the league.
Coin Toss: Heads or Tails
Blind Owl: I’m going heads. Cause everyone likes…well you get it.
Concret3Cowboy: This is a little easier to follow. I’m assuming it’s the coin toss for the opening of the game. The more I think about it, I don’t even think I’m going to watch this game. Imagining the whole presentation of the superbowl is making me gag a bit. Give me heads.
BrendanwoftheDead: to quote the town “you gotta chase the rabbit if you want to get the tail”... I don't know how it's relevant but tails it is.
First Touchdown
Blind Owl: This one actually takes some thought and isn’t just a stupid thing I found online. Here’s what I’m thinking. The Chiefs are going to win the coin toss, and go 3 and out when they try to force the ball to a covered Kelce. Then, the 9ers will take over and drive down the field. That drive will end with a 12 to 18 yard pass to the real tight end in the game, George Kittle. Looking at the odds, this is smart money. Kittle is +1100 to score first. Easy money if you asked me.
Concret3Cowboy: I forget how the QB is counted for passing touchdowns in this but give me Purdy because.
BrendanwoftheDead: it's Isiah Pacheco or bust. He runs angry and flys under the radar because of Kelce and mahomes. The 49ers have started slow in each of their playoff games so the Chiefs will draw first blood.
Will Jason Kelce Take Off Shirt?
Blind Owl: I’m going out on a limb with this one. It may even be a bit of a loophole. I’m going to say no. Jason Kelce won’t remove his shirt on camera. Why? Well it’s quite simple. He won’t ever be shown on screen whilst wearing a shirt. You can’t take off what is never on right? The high in Vegas on Sunday is 56 degrees, and he’ll be in a box, so he won’t even bother with the shirt.
Concret3Cowboy: Yes.
BrendanwoftheDead: I'm going to say yes because I want him to get the camera to pan away from Taylor Swift.
Taylor Swift Performs at Halftime: Yes/No
Blind Owl: This is stupid. If I’m Usher, the scheduled performer for this year’s halftime show, I am quite disgruntled about his. This is supposed to be his show. Unfortunately, just like all of KC’s games this year, Taylor has taken over his big moment. But undoubtedly, the Swifties will get their wish. Especially if the Chiefs are losing at the half. She will come out and sing a verse of Shake It Off. Which would be just disgusting. Although, when it does happen, it sure would be hilarious if the Chiefs then go on to lay an egg in the 2nd half.
Concret3Cowboy: No, she’s flying in from a Japan show the night before.
BrendanwoftheDead: No, just No. Dear God No!
Feelin’ 22: 22+ Points in a Quarter
Blind Owl: I’m sorry to my readers, I couldn’t resist it. I had to jump on the Swift themed props. More than 22 points is a lot in a quarter. Tough to do that. Although, both of these teams have potential to score pretty quickly. San Fran more so than KC, but 3 scores will do it. I’m say why not. I’m feeling 22. Even though I’m almost 32. We’re taking this back to 2014!
Concret3Cowboy: I hate everything about this Super Bowl. No.
BrendanwoftheDead: that's a lot of points for one quarter but I want that to happen. Let's will this dream into reality! (After suffering through the most putrid offense in Patriots history, I just want to see points).
Color of Gatorade on Winning Coach
Blind Owl: I am at a disadvantage on this one. Being completely color blind makes this one hard for me. I’ll be watching the game in the presence of both these guys for some portion of the game. I wouldn’t put it past them to have a separate text going on planning to lie to me about what color the Gatorade is. For this one, I sought council from some of the wisest folks I know. The Kindergarteners in my last gym class on Friday afternoon. One of whom also happens to be color blind ironically. That young fella made a good point saying, “Aren’t both teams red?” He’s right! So that means they’ll go with red Gatorade. Makes sense to me.
Concret3Cowboy: Red.. bite me.
BrendanwoftheDead: Everyone knows that there are three good flavors of Gatorade, no more no less. Yellow, orange, and red. Everything else should be banned by the FDA, if the organization had a shred of integrity. Orange Gatorade tastes better in the morning so nix it. Red sits too heavy for a football game so cross it off. That leaves yellow, the og and the best.
Super Bowl MVP
Blind Owl: I have 3 words. Big. Cock. Brock. That’s right. My guy Brock Purdy is my bet here. I see him throwing 3 or 4 TDs in this game. Win or lose. A few of these may be screens to Deebo or McCaffrey, but still. Lot’s of TDs for Mr. Irrelevant. He’s not a longshot like some guys I’m seeing, but I’ll take +200 odds. He just needs to avoid focusing on one of his playmakers. Spread that thing around and find the open man. Easier said than done, but Brock is the guy to do it!
Concret3Cowboy: It’s going to be fucking Kelce.. the NFL is scripted.
BrendanwoftheDead: The Chiefs kryptonite is their run defense. WTF were the ravens thinking but that's a topic for another day. I don't want to see the chiefs win so I'm grasping here but let's go run CMC. The league's best back vs a team who struggles against the run. Let's party.