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2024 Conference Championship NFL Picks

Welp, there’s only 3 games left in this year’s NFL season. Championship Weekend is an exciting time! But with that excitement comes the realization that in just a few short weeks, there will be nothing on TV on the weekends. And before you say it, I refuse to watch the NBA. It’s boring to me. So save your breath. What’s even scarier is that after this weekend, we get a dreadful reminder of what football free weekends are like in the dreaded pre-Super Bowl bye week that nobody asked for. 

I compare this feeling to something the Cowboy and I have in common. Both of us have birthdays in August. I’m sure he had the same situation I did when we were kids. Like all kids, I looked forward to my birthday, but after it happened, reality set in. It was just a few short weeks until school started again. If we’re being honest, I still get that feeling to this day, but I live in the dream world of teaching. 

Anyway, nobody cares about my ramblings anymore. They’ve read through too many of these to even pretend like they read them. So let’s get to what people really care about. Here’s how we did last week in the Divisional Round: 

Divisional Round Records:

Blind Owl: 2-2

Concret3Cowboy: 1-3

BrendawnoftheDead: 1-3

I’m going to be honest, after Saturday’s slate of games, I thought my goose was cooked. Thankfully, I went undefeated on Sunday and closed the gap a bit. I’m this close to taking the Cowboy’s coveted Consolation TItle from him. And you can bet your bottom dollar, if I win it, I will no longer be calling it that. Even when there is a tie, Brendawn technically still comes in second. How does he do it? It makes me nervous that he can do this so consistently. Let’s see how are playoff records shake out with only 3 games left:

Total Playoff Records:Blind Owl: 4-6Concret3Cowboy: 5-5

BrendawnoftheDead: 4-6

Look at that. Only 1 game difference between us 3 idiots. Isn’t that just grand. You know something? I’ve never considered what we’ll do if we end in a tie. Hmm. Maybe we’ll do some kind of battle of wits. Or a no holds barred Texas death match? I don’t like my odds in that one. Those two behemoths could easily dispose of my skinny blind ass. Especially now in my strep throat weakened state.

Let’s dive right into the Conference Championship games and see if the Cowboy can hold his slim lead, or if Brendawn or I can close the gap: 

AFC Championship

KC @ BAL: BAL -4

Blind Owl: I wasn’t too confident with the fact that I had to pick the Chiefs last week. I was just hoping they’d cover the spread. But thanks to Tyler “Smallmouth” Bass, the Chiefs pulled off the upset on the road. A good thing for Chiefs fans and Swifties alike. But, a bad thing for this non sighted bird of prey. Why you might ask? Well, we all know that the Cowboy isn’t going to pick KC. It’s just not in his DNA. His body literally won’t let him do it. So in order to catch up to him, I have to pick the Chiefs. Thankfully, I’m able to at least rationalize it because I have a 4 point cushion, but I still don’t like it. I’m just hoping Lamar and the Ravens will do what they always do and choke in the big spot. You know what? I don’t even need that, I just need it to be close. If Chris Jones and the KC D-Line can contain Jackson and not let him run around and improvise, they’ll be fine. So, I’ll predict a Ravens win by a late Justin Tucker FG. 

Also, here’s a bonus bet: Gus Edwards will score in this one. I don’t know the odds, but its a lock. 

Concret3Cowboy: I’m so over KC. Cry baby Mahomes, Travis Kelce’s punk ass and now there’s more screen time of the suites looking for that singer lady than the actual game. KC isn’t good this year, even being in the AFC championship they barely got over a depleted Buffalo squad that even looked dead in the water in December/October. I have enjoyed the reels online with Lamar being the only thing that can save us. I want the Chiefs out so fucking bad.

BrendawnoftheDead: KC shouldn't be here but Buffalo peed down their leg, Deja Vu much? Buffalo was playing with a replacement level secondary and JV linebackers, not a great recipe for success in the NFL. I still think Kansas City’s offense is greatly diminished and good defenses are very capable of shutting them down. Baltimore is their huckleberry. They have a good defense and they will shut KC down. Baltimore also has a legitimate offense with the likely MVP of the league at quarterback. They will run all over KC and send their sorry butts home. Baltimore by 10.

NFC Championship

DET @ SF: SF -7

Blind Owl: I truly want the Lions to win this game. It would be such a good story. Unfortunately for Detroit, they have to beat the best team in the NFL to get to the Super Bowl. 7 points is a gigantic spread for a Conference title game, but the 49ers have earned it. The 49ers are the only team left that Detroit hasn’t played yet, which works well for San Fran. It’s hard to beat somebody twice. What works in Detroit’s favor is that they are very battle tested. They’ve had a couple close games in the playoffs and they know they’re on borrowed time so they’ll play looser. The 9ers have been the favorites all year and have a tendency to fall a little flat in games they’re supposed to win big. In my humble opinion, the big difference in this game will be the 49ers offensive line. I know the Lions can get after the QB a bit, but San Fran can really protect the passer. That’s bad news for the Lions. Their secondary has played way above their pay grades recently and I think Kittle and Aiyuk are going to feast. McCaffrey commands so much attention, and Deebo Samuel is going to play in this one. “Big Cock” Brock Purdy is going to have all day to look around and find his playmakers. Unfortunately for the viewers, this one has the potential to be a snoozer by the 3rd quarter. That’s good for those of us who would like an early night, but not for the Detroit fans out there. I say San Fran wins by a sizeable margin. I hope I’m wrong, but I won’t be. 

Concret3Cowboy: Brock Purdy catches a lot of strays. The dudes in his second year. He plays like a 10 year vet. I’d take him over a lot of QBs. I just like San Fran’s defense over Detroit. I don’t think Detroit has too much to slow San Fran down, especially if Samuel does play. Just like Taylor Swift, Jared Goff is mid. I do like the story of Detroit finally doing something and I do like emotional teams but San Fran has much more experience and has more on the line. 7 points though? That’s doable enough to where I do like it.

BrendawnoftheDead: Seven seems high based off San Francisco’s performance last week. San Francisco has seemed rather beatable since getting their doors blown off by Baltimore a few weeks ago. Maybe it's fatigue, maybe it's injuries, or maybe the league has caught on to their scheme, but they are not the same dominant force they were to start the year. Detroit has played well in the post season but their defense is still suspect. Something tells me that this is going to be back and forth and come down to the last possession but eh screw it. San Francisco covers via late turnover or reff ball.

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