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2023 Week 15 NFL Picks

Alright. It’s crunch time. There’s only four weeks left in the regular season and we are still very close. There isn’t much left to say. All I know is I’m sick again. The kids at school are killing me this year. This time is worse than the last. But, when I think about it, the last time I was sick I had the best week of the year. Is that a sign of things to come? Who knows, let’s take a look at last week:


Week 14 Records

Blind Owl: 6-8-1

Concret3Cowboy: 6-8-1

BrendawnoftheDead: 7-7-1


Interesting. I hold my spot but Brendawn is making a home stretch move. The Cowboy is hanging in there, but seems to be losing steam. A few more close weeks and I’m sure we won’t be saying much to each other come the holidays. How did Brendawn’s outside move impact the total records? Let’s have a look. 


Total Records

Blind Owl: 105-92-11

Concret3Cowboy: 101-96-11

BrendawnoftheDead: 102-95-11


Whoa. I’m clutching my pearls a little bit here. I focused a little bit too much on the Cowboy that I forgot about Brendawn. The real Cinderella story of going 0 for 13 in a week and still within 3 games of the lead. No more games. I need to just keep up what I did the rest of the year. I’ll let these two play mind games. I’ll just keep picking. Maybe I’ll hold on. Maybe one of these goons will take over. It’s anyone’s game. Every pick counts and here are ours for Week 15 which includes 3 games yesterday: 


Thursday

LAC @ LV: LV -3

Blind Owl: The Chargers may not have covered a 3 point spread with Herbert. They’re definitely not covering without him. Gimme the Raiders. 


Concret3Cowboy: A weird one, I suppose the Chargers are going to hang on to their impotent head coach. The Broncos had the Chargers number on Sunday when the Raiders lost 0-3 ffs. Raiders stink. I actually like what I saw from this Stick guy. Chargers walk away with a win.


BrendawnoftheDead: Backup quarterback with a short week of preparation on an underwhelming team with an awful head coach… it feels gross but give me the Raiders.


Saturday

MIN @ CIN: CIN -3

Blind Owl: I never like picking these games in both the AFC and NFC North. These teams love beating up on each other. As weird as it seems, the Vikings are better without Jefferson. Hard to imagine but it’s true. The Bengals have adjusted decently without Joe Fraudow. I couldn’t care less who wins this one so I’ll be smart and pick against Nick Mullins and go with the Bengals. 


Concret3Cowboy: Jake Browning is winning on and off the field (something about white pants). What happened to the Passtronaunt? He’s the 3rd stringer entering this game? Shame, Minnesota is kinda like Denver. They turned their defense around but the problem is their premier QB went down. Give me the Bengals here.


BrendawnoftheDead: The Vikings are having trouble scoring points with their backup quarterbacks…*alarm bells going off*... The Bengals are not. Easy one for me, Cincinnati wins. They have more to work with, especially with JJ being out again.


PIT @ IND: IND -1

Blind Owl: Mitch Trubisky? Losing to the Patriots? No thanks. Colts all day. 


Concret3Cowboy: I’m curious about this only being a 1 point spread. Either way it helps the Broncos playoff chances. Give me the Colts here.


BrendawnoftheDead: With Kenny Pickett, the Steelers won games via pagan sacrifice and yinzer bullshit. He would transform into Superbowl Joe Montana for exactly one drive in the 4th quarter after some fluke special teams or defensive score and there you go. Mitchell trubisky does not have that ability. Also the Patriots moved the football on the Steelers and scored multiple offensive touchdowns (3!). The colts are a better team than the helpless patriots, colts win.


DEN @ DET: DET -5

Blind Owl: Denver has been on a roll and the Chiefs keep losing. Do I think they’ll catch KC? No. But they can make it close. Detroit is a solid opponent with a potent offense. My heart wants to pick Denver. I know the Cowboy will too. Brendawn is my biggest threat now. I’ll take Detroit but I hope I’m wrong. 


Concret3Cowboy: 5 points? If Detroit wins it won’t be by more than a field goal. I believe that Denver is the type of squad that learned from their shitty start to the Texans game and they won’t replicate that. The Broncos need to take this one, and I think they will win it. Unless Detroit remembers that the Broncos suck against the run, but here’s to hoping. (Post game edit: FUCKKK)


BrendawnoftheDead: I'm breaking my rule to make up ground in the standings, sorry Detroit. You just haven't been yourself since Thanksgiving, you used to be so reliable and I could always count on you to score. Now you've gone back to your old ways of disappointment and we must move on. I'll miss you… now that the breakup is over let's be serious. The Lions have been turning the ball over left and right and the defense has fallen apart. The broncos aren't great but they are good enough to capitalize on mistakes, which they have the defense to force. 5 just seems way too high for a team that's been playing like ass for a month. Denver wins outright.

Sunday

KC @ NE: KC -8.5

Blind Owl: As much as we all loved seeing Mahomes bitching and moaning about his receiver being a moron, that all ends today when he delivers a beat down on the Patriots. 


Concret3Cowboy: Chiefs.. How many pointless games do the Pats want to win? If the Pats win it’ll make that lions game hurt a lot more.


BrendawnoftheDead: 8.5 seems high for a team that is struggling to score but then again, the Patriots can't score points either (last week was a fluke and the Steelers are ass). Chiefs win 20-10. Now that you know my real thoughts, time for gamesmanship. Patriots defense steps up and the offense manages to score 13, losing by only 7 and covering just so I can make up ground with the owl.


NYJ @ MIA: MIA -8

Blind Owl: Miami is sort of a fraudulent team. But the Jets are…well they’re the Jets. Miami wins easily. 


Concret3Cowboy: I actually like the Jets to cover this one. They did just lose to the Titans. Albeit, Tyrek did miss a good chunk of that game. But give me the J-E-T-S to cover.


BrendawnoftheDead: Rules are rules, the Jets can't score points. Miami can score points. Let's see, add the touchdown, carry the one, we don't need division…the math is easy. Dolphins cover


HOU @ TEN: TEN -3.5

Blind Owl: Houston has nothing left. Dell is done, Stroud is out, and they’re chances are dead. Davis Mills isn’t that bad and Case Keenum isn’t either, but they can’t win here. Titans. 


Concret3Cowboy: Houston is just down bad, wish there were for their Denver game but none of that matters now. Titans.


BrendawnoftheDead: Injuries are tough. The Texans shouldn't lose this game but they're down to a practice squad level offense. Hopefully it won't be a complete slog of a game, maybe the Titans can even block for king Henry a tiny bit. Titans cover.


TB @ GB: GB -3.5

Blind Owl: The Battle of the Bays actually means something. If I say this matchup in August, I would’ve thought it was a battle of last place teams. Shows how wrong I am. This one is a tough one. I think it could go either way. Green Bay has been on a bit of a roll. So I suppose I’ll ride with the hot hand. I’ll take the Packers at home.


Concret3Cowboy: The Packers are frauds. Bucs just aren’t that good but still good enough to win their division. I like them to cover and possibly steal a win here, the main reason being that I need to take some wins over the other guys.


BrendawnoftheDead: I would like the Bucs to win, I want baker Mayfield to succeed, but I don't see it today. Green Bay is kind of a Jekyll and Hyde, Tampa is just a limited team that tries really hard. I like green Bay to cover at home.


NYG @ NO: NO -5

Blind Owl: I know they covered last week, but that is just the rule of averages. I’m not picking the Giants ever again this year. Saints. 


Concret3Cowboy: 🤌


BrendawnoftheDead: if it weren't for RedZone, I wouldn't recommend watching a single snap of this game. I'll use the same justification for picking the saints as always, I like Demario Davis.


ATL @ CAR: ATL -3

Blind Owl: Carolina is just awful. They’re just so bad. Atlanta is playing for something. That’s what it takes. The Dirty Birds are going to take this one by more than 10. 


Concret3Cowboy: Bryce Young is bad.. but so is everything around him, including the owner.


BrendawnoftheDead: Falcons I'm begging you, give the ball to Bijian and Kyle Pitts. You win games when you do that. Got it? Good. Panthers are trash.


CHI @ CLE: CLE -3

Blind Owl: I finally have a reason to pick the Browns to beat a bad team. The Bears are on a trajectory to have two top five picks. That quest continues with a big loss to the Browns. 


Concret3Cowboy: Flaco is a good quarterback, dude still has a cannon. 


BrendawnoftheDead: The Browns will win, Joe Flacco is the best quarterback they've had all year. Time is a flat circle.


SF @ ARI: SF -11.5

Blind Owl: Former President Trump would call Arizona the “Covering Cardinals.” They won’t cover the spread here though. I know the Cowboy will pick them and bury himself, but I have to play smart and take the 9ers who are just that good.  


Concret3Cowboy: Future President Archie Manning would say “why the hell did you pick the Cardinals to cover against the 49ers in 2023?” And who am I to take that away from a future president.


BrendawnoftheDead: Former Vice President Biden would call Arizona “the football team that rides a scooter and sometimes the weather is orange and I once had a neck tie and I…. you sure smell nice.” I don't know how that or anything else he says is relevant but it is what it is. San Fran dominates this game.


WAS @ LAR: LAR -6.5

Blind Owl: Hmm. That 6.5 seems big to me. I don’t really care for it. Biut Cooper Kupp is playing. So I have to pick the Rams. Let’s just hope for a shootout for the sake of my fantasy playoff matchup. 


Concret3Cowboy: Rams, no nonsense I can make up here.


BrendawnoftheDead: The Commies are DOA. 


DAL @ BUF: BUF -2

Blind Owl: Dallas has been beating up on teams and showing how good they really are. Meanwhile, the Bills won the lottery when the Chiefs broke the rules at the worst possible time. Even if the Bills ride the momentum of beating the Chiefs and beat the Cowboys, it won’t be by much. Here’s my prediction. Josh Allen is going to throw a bad interception to end the game. The Cowboys will win outright, but I’ll take the two points as a Blind Owl Bonus. 


Concret3Cowboy: Dallas is going to continue to roll here. They’re defense is too good and their offense has become very capable compared to earlier this year.


BrendawnoftheDead: How is buffalo favored? They won last week due to kadarius toney being the worst player in football for at least the third time this season and the Chiefs are greatly diminished. I believe in Dallas, until the playoffs start. Ceedee lamb is awesome and is going to have a day. I strongly dislike McCarthy as a coach but at least he didn't use the 911 terrorists as a glowing example of teamwork. F you McDermott.


BAL @ JAX: BAL -3.5

Blind Owl: Jacksonville really needs this one. They’re in danger of losing it all. Baltimore on the other hand is in the crow’s nest looking down on the AFC. An old bit of battle strategy says it’s easier to defend than attack. The Ravens are going to defend the top spot and win the AFC outright.


Concret3Cowboy: Even with that scare last week to the out of confrence Rams. The Ravens are still THE team in the AFC.


BrendawnoftheDead: There are levels to this game and Jacksonville isn't on Baltimore's, simple as that. 


Monday

PHI @ SEA: PHI -3

Blind Owl: This game makes me laugh a little only because this is the spot that the KC/NE game was supposed to be. A local news station ran a story about some jackass who bought tickets and can’t go now. Sucks to suck. I know the Eagles are traveling to Seattle, but I’m shocked the spread is this small. Philly needs to win and is going to very focused. Dallas is hot on their heels. Philly wins big.


Concret3Cowboy: Fuck it. Give me the Seacocks.


BrendawnoftheDead: Philly looks like a team that is exhausted. They need to play a mediocre team so they can get their sh*t together for the playoffs. Seattle is exactly what the doctor ordered. Philly gets back on track.



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