To save the Owl some time I’ll help him hit his talking points for the intro; 1) Mentioning a fantasy league no one else is a part of. 2) Something, something a thousand paper cuts. 3) A short little mention about our middle of the road week 13 records. 4) He talks about his plans for the day.
Week 13 Records
Blind Owl: 7-6
Well, the Cowboy has my formula down, so here are the total records.
Blind Owl: 99-84-10
I’m still winning by 4 games. Damn right. It stays that way this week. Thanks for reading by the way.
NE @ PIT: PIT -6
Blind Owl: Editors Note: Writing this after Brendawn wrote his pick) Brendawn has some strong feelings about this game. I’m just hoping this game is mildly entertaining. Unfortunately, I don’t think either team will score very many points. So I’ve got go with the points and pick the Patriots.
Concret3Cowboy: Steelers would be the obvious choice. At the same time, 6 points seems a bit much. Considering the Chargers just beat the Pats 6-0 and they seem to have a much better offensive arsenal than the Steelers. I like the Pats to lose by 5.
BrendawnoftheDead: The Patriots already got flexed out of Monday night football, which is incredible because the Chiefs are a good team and have the support of millions of swifties world wide, but they are so hard to watch they still got flexed out. Maybe Taylor Swift has already said she ain't going and the NFL spared football fans everywhere? The point is, I bet bezos wishes he could flex the Patriots out of this matchup too. Somebody needs to perform a wellness check on Al Michaels, this is going to be a slog of the highest order. I know we don't bet on over under total points, but HAMMER THE UNDER! The Patriots can't score points, literally zero last week. The Steelers can't score points either and somehow have 7 wins. I'm going to steal a phrase from my mother in law, gag me with a spoon. I'll watch because I'm obligated but I highly recommend you do something else, literally anything. Anyway, Steelers cover by winning 7-0 due to a special teams or defensive touchdown…gross.
DEN @ LAC: LAC -2.5
Blind Owl: The Chargers barely beat the Patriots. I think that’s enough said. I’ll take Denver.
Concret3Cowboy: Broncos let the Texans get away with one last week. There was talk during the week about the Broncos never playing in the early game slot and it showed, Denver came out slow and played like trash until the 4th. The Chargers are the Chargers and are the only AFC West team that didn’t have a streak against Denver entering this season. The health of Surtain is concerning but the Broncos should take this one.
BrendawnoftheDead: The Chargers exist to disappoint you. Staley is getting a pink slip sooner rather than later. Broncos have the defense to get it done.
TB @ ATL: ATL -2.5
Blind Owl: This one is a huge game with “who is going to l in the first round of the playoffs” vibes. I have to go with what I’ve been saying all year and take the Falcons. I also know the Cowboy will take the Bucs, so I’ll gain a game on him.
Concret3Cowboy: The Owl isn’t wrong, I do like the Bucs. But I also like what the Falcons have been able to put together. The Falcons did beat the Bucs by 3 in Tampa earlier this season. The Bucs like to win ugly and that's what every NFC South game has been this season so give me the Bucs. I do see them losing though, hopefully by 1 this time.
BrendawnoftheDead: I can't pick Desmond Ridder, the man is an absolute liability. Now watch him throw for 300 yards and 4tds. I'm sticking to my guns here and going Bucs.
IND @ CIN: CIN -2.5
Blind Owl: Cincy is still nothing. I’m considering benching Jamar Chase in fantasy. Minshew keeps this game close. As a matter of fact, the Colts could take this one outright. I’ll take the 2.5 points as a bonus though.
Concret3Cowboy: The Stripes are favored? Hmm, I wonder what Vegas is seeing here. The Bengals do have a good front seven, if that pass rush gets home that defense operates just fine. When it doesn’t, that defense struggles. Colts take this one, which stinks.. Broncos need them to lose.
BrendawnoftheDead: Did y'all forget about what happened on Monday night? The Burrow less Bengals took out the Jags in a shootout and Jamar was a monster. If you want to bench him Owl, I'll gladly trade you. The Bengals have more ways to score points, I'll take them.
JAX @ CLE: CLE -3
Blind Owl: Hang on, I have to look for something…Well, it seems that Trevor Lawrence will be playing for the Jags. WIth that being the case it does make it harder, but I think I’ll take the Browns. That defense is legit.
Concret3Cowboy: I like Jacksonville with their back up. Cleveland just doesn’t have much on their offense. Pepperidge Farms remembers when CJ Beathard played for the 9ers and did some solid work. Ohhh, Kirk isn’t playing.. The line is starting to make sense. Still though, Cleveland can’t move the ball.
BrendawnoftheDead: Hobbled Trevor Lawrence without Kirk, I'm pretty sure his testicles exploded fyi. Joe Flacco starting…what year is this!? I don't love this, going to be a 💩show regardless of outcome. I'm going to go Cleveland because chaos.
HOU @ NYJ: HOU -3.5
Blind Owl: Brendawn has said it, and I agree. The Jets can’t score. Houston can. Easy pick with Houston here.
Concret3Cowboy: Only 3.5 is surprising. This feels like a 8/9 point game for the Texans. Easy pick.
BrendawnoftheDead: The Jets can't score points!
LAR @ BAL: BAL -7
Blind Owl: The poor Rams have been up and down. Kupp had a great start and then kind of fell back to earth, The Ravens are the class of the AFC thus far. Also, I’m on the #GusBus. Ride it til it stops baby!
Concret3Cowboy: Baltimore has the defense and the offense to do damage, it just comes down to whether or not they get off the bus to play. I don’t like teams that travel the country to play a game and that is exactly what the Rams are doing here. Don’t think the Rams will hang with the birds here. Ravens.
BrendawnoftheDead: The wheels on Gus bus go round and round… perhaps I was over zealous when I called Lamar fat and happy early this year? They'll win outright here but they will disappoint in January.
DET @ CHI: DET -3
Blind Owl: Detroit is going to lay the absolute smack down on the Bears. Lions will win easily by at least a TD.
Concret3Cowboy: The Bears haven’t been the dumpster fire they were last year. But do they get the turnovers like they did against the Lions the first time around? Just to ultimately lose anyways but still covered for me? Not this time, not within 3 points at least.
BrendawnoftheDead: Rules are rules, Lions ride or die!
CAR @ NO: NO -6
Blind Owl: Yuck. This game will be boring. Thankfully I won’t be subject to watching it. Carolina is awful so I’ll take the Saints and move on.
Concret3Cowboy: Bryce Young has the frame of a middle schooler and it shows every week. Size matters, Carolina should know seeing how they had Cam Newton and said “Well, that went pretty well.. Let's do the complete opposite.” I do not like the 6 points. The Panthers did hang around in week 2 at home, but having a 1-11 record does weigh down on you. Young might commit enough turnovers to let the Saints score 20+ points, just off of field goals.
BrendawnoftheDead: The saints are both mediocre and boring but not a flaming pile of poo like the Panthers. I do love Demario Davis’s throwback hard hitting style, that's enough for me.
MIN @ LV: MIN -3
Blind Owl: JJ is back. Does that help or hurt? The Vikings have been on kind of a run without him. But having someone with that kind of talent is hard to pick against. Will Josh Dobbs have the kind of chemistry that Cousins did? I think the Vikings win easily here. Raiders stink
Concret3Cowboy: Dobbs went full combustion last week. This happens a lot in the NFL, a QB will play well and then film gets out and those guys that live in the offices figure it out. JJ will add a nice new look for this Viking team and they take one in Vegas by 7.
BrendawnoftheDead: the Raiders stink and always have. JJ goes off, Dobbs magic returns! (Yes I'm routing for that guy)
SEA @ SF: SF -13.5
Blind Owl: You all know how I feel about the Hawks. I want them to get absolutely obliterated by the 9ers. Nothing would make me happier than seeing the Seahawks pouting after a blowout. But I’m smarter than that. It’s a division game and this is the second time they’ve played this year. It’ll be closer than the experts think, so I’ll take Seattle to cover.
Concret3Cowboy: 13.5 points is wild but I like it.
BrendawnoftheDead: Man 13.5 is a heavy spread, I can't do it. I can see the Seahawks scoring some garbage time points just to eff with Vegas, they do have Metcalf after all.
BUF @ KC: KC -1
Blind Owl: Again with one of these. I WANT the Chiefs to lose badly. Will it happen? Probably not. Especially since the game is in KC. That’s a different world. WIth that said, it’s going to be close so I have to pick with the point and go with Buffalo.
Concret3Cowboy: Chiefs win by at least 4. The have the better defense, even if the offense struggles I just don’t see the Bills hanging around with them in Arrowhead.
BrendawnoftheDead: Like I said, the Bills missed their window. The chiefs offense doesn't scare anyone anymore but the Bills have kind of imploded. I think this is a defensive struggle that the Chiefs ultimately win by 3. Mahomes is ultimately better than Allen and Andy Reid has not used the 911 terrorist as an example of teamwork. You know what? Screw it, chiefs by 100.
PHI @ DAL: DAL -3.5
Blind Owl: Very similar scenario here. Philly won the first meeting but it was close. The game being in Dallas changes a few things, but I have to pick smart here. I’m winning in this thing and I have to keep it that way. Give me the E-A-G-L-E-S to cover. They might not win, but it’ll be close.
Concret3Cowboy: I think I like Dallas to cover here. Philly got absolutely beat down, and that has an effect on a team that thinks they’re magically like Philly has believed. I think the Cowboys do something here and people start to respect them a little bit… a tiny bit at least.
BrendawnoftheDead: If Dak wants that MVP, he needs to win this one. In theory, the cowboys have the recipe to beat the eagles. They're built a lot like San Francisco but a diet version. Diet San Francisco gets it done, they have the pass rush and play makers.
GB @ NYG: GB -6.5
Blind Owl: Giants suck. Green Bay beat down here.
Concret3Cowboy: I guess the packers are good now? I like the Giants covering… shoot me.
BrendawnoftheDead: Devito is better than Danny Dimes, that's right I said it. They still stink and won't cover.
TEN @ MIA: MIA -13
Blind Owl: Another large spread. The Dolphins will just continue beating up on bad teams. The Dolphins will put up some numbers and put us all to bed on a Monday night of sleepy games.
Concret3Cowboy: GTA6 being in “Miami but not Miami'' will be wildly fun. Tennessee has little chance to make this a game but hey, it could happen. Much like… nevermind, I can’t even make anything work for this comparison.
BrendawnoftheDead: A bold spread that I actually find conservative. Phins by 20. The Titans have 1 way to score points, the phins have about 17.