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Strikers Striking Out

Now I happen to work in an industry where it is technically illegal for us to go on strike. I’ve dreamed of losing my shit in a staff meeting and demanding a strike for some reason that seems important but really isn’t. I don’t have the balls to do it honestly.

That’s why whenever there is a high profile strike of any kind, it always catches my attention.

If you are unaware, according to several outlets, the writers for most of the late night talk shows have gone on strike. This includes shows like Jimmy Kimmel Live, The Late Show with Stephen Colbert and the Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon. Due to this, all of these shows have immediately shut down production and will not be airing until further notice.

Like a lot of teachers, I honestly had forgotten these shows existed. The idea of staying up to watch unfunny comedians interview vapid celebrities about their privileged lives nauseates me. And the fact that they’re on wayyyyyyyyy past my bedtime, makes it a guarantee I won’t be tuning in. In fact, the last time I remember even consuming a little of any of these shows live, is when I fell asleep during some football game and woke up to see it on my TV.

Now that’s just me. I’m usually in the pop culture minority on these kinds of things. I say that because I see clips of these shows on YouTube getting views. I never watch them, but there must be an audience for them. Just not for me,

Then every now and then, I see the late night ratings come out, and these shows are getting body bagged by Gutfeld! (You’d better not forget the exclamation point), hosted by Greg Gutfeld. First of all, how could you lose to a show that has an exclamation point in its title. More importantly, is Gutfeld that much better than these other guys? I mean he’s doubling them up in the ratings. You could combine the ratings of some of the traditional late night shows, and they’re still losing to Greg Gutfeld.

Well, with those kinds of numbers, one assumes Gutfeld is the epitome of late night hilarity. Right? Uhhh not so much.

Gutfeld! Isn’t funny at all. He just takes the same jokes that the other late night shows are doing, and gives them a right wing spin. Meanwhile, Colbert, Kimmel and Fallon just tell boring left wing jokes and refuse to mock anyone on “their” side of the political aisle. It’s all the same crap. It’s just that Gutfeld gets all of the more conservative viewers and the others have to split the liberals. It’s a pretty simple answer. The right wingers will tell you Gutfeld is “GOOOOOOD!” but he’s not. He just cornered the dumb conservative market.

What does all this have to do with the writers strike? Well a great man once said that leverage is everything. Not sure if you’ve noticed Writers Guild, but subzero ratings aren’t exactly the best bargaining chips in a negotiation. If these late night shows were smart (they’re not by the way) they would let the strikers strike all they want. The writing clearly isn’t working. Maybe find some independent writers that have different perspectives.

Inevitably, this strike won’t amount to much. The terrible writers that have tanked the late night industry will get more money, or whatever they want. Why? Because the late night shows think it’s better and easier to keep the status quo, instead of taking a chance and trying to chip away at Greg Gutfeld’s astronomical lead. This thing will end within a week or so. Nothing will change. These shows will continue to suck, and nobody will watch. Greg Gutfeld will continue to believe he’s funny, and normal people like me won’t enjoy any of it.

But, if there are any TV execs reading this. I am available if you want to put on a late night show. I am available. I know I just called you idiots, but like Ted DiBiase once said, “Everybody’s got a price,” and mine is very very low compared to those union thugs. Shoot me an email. Let’s talk turkey. We can make Stephen Colbert funny again.

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