Royal Pain in the Arse

As a person who has never been interested in fairy tales or princess stories, the obsession with the British royal family has always eluded me. I find it childish and honestly kind of disturbing. Worshipping these people who, some of them, have done nothing but exist or marry somebody from a certain family. This is coming from a guy who sometimes obsesses over which player can throw and catch a ball better than others. So take my opinion for what it’s worth.


If you haven’t seen it, and if you haven’t, you’re blinder than I am, but ex-prince Harry and his wife Meghan Markle did an interview witth some lady named Oprah. I hadn’t heard of her either.


In this interview, the former royal couple had some bombshells to drop about the royal family.


The one that they spoke about most was them complaining that they were not provided security by Buckingham Palace. If you asked me, the prince of England should probably have some kind of security. But, they were complaining about how they don’t get security now. I may be mistaken, but didn’t they leave on their own? It was their choice to remove themselves from the royal family and therefore forfeited everything that goes with that. Which includes government security. Not for nothing, but it’s not like they’re struggling for cash. They could’ve easily afforded their own private security. How hard would it be to make a phone call and get some security officer to watch their house.


That nonsense just sounds like rich people complaining about rich people problems. Not something we peasants can relate to.


The real bombshell in my opinion came from the former “dutchess” Meghan Markle. In the midst of whining that her son wouldn’t receive a royal “title”, which is insane in it’s own right, Markle made quite the bold statement. She claimed that “someone” in the family was worried that her son’s skin would be “too dark” to be associated with the royal family.


A few things here. I don’t claim to be an authority on color and what things look like, but the kid doesn’t look “dark” to me. Not that that matters, I’m just saying what he looks like. Second thing, the royal family should be happy that there is finally some good looking blood in their gene pool. Not sure if any of you have done any research on royal families around the world, but there has been quite a history of inbreeding that occurred. That is proven. In fact, there are documents and marriage records that prove that. The “royalty” of Europe passed princes and princesses around like currency. Look at all the alliances and such that started so many wars.


The last thing with Markle’s statement that has actually cost at least one person his job, is whether or not it’s true. Piers Morgan, a British TV personality went on the air and criticized Markle. Saying he didn’t believe a word of what he said. Rumors are flying from places like the Daily Mail, that Markle complained to his network and he subsequently quit. Here is the video if you’d like to see it: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aUk13yV6q0Y


Like I said before, I find the worshipping of the “Queen” kind of gross, but the guy just gave his opinion and had to quit.


As for my opinion, I don’t think Markle told the truth. I see a couple who are upset that they left the royal family and haven’t been begged to come back. This whole thing has the stink of a headline grabber. Which is a trap I am in as I write this. Harry and Meghan seems to be missing the pageantry of being royalty, so they went for the next best thing.


Just for shits and giggles, let’s say what Markle said is true. Is anyone shocked? The heads of that family are 100 and 93. I think a few racially insensitive things may have been uttered in walls of the palace. Think about it for just a second. How long ago was 100 years? The British still “owned” Hong Kong and India. That is a little troubling. Things were a lot different. The Queen’s parents were born in the 1800s. Isn’t that enough to prove that maybe her and her husband’s ideas of race may be a little twisted as compared to today?


Now I am contributing to this problem. I am writing about this and I have no interest in the powerless monarchs of England. They’re just a symbol for the British. Just like the Statue of Liberty or a bald eagle is for the United States. But what I don’t get is the British people spending millions upon millions of dollars on these people to live in lavish castles and have security year round. But hey, it’s not my money so the British can do what they want.


I’ll end with a thought from Comedian Jim Gaffigan. The American infatuation with gossip is disturbing. And the round the clock tracking of the British royal family from across the pond is bizarre. “I mean, come on, it’s not even our gossip.” Like Gaffigan said, if our gossip is McDonald’s, their gossip must be Burger King.

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