Making Drugs Safe Again

Crack is a fun and mentally stimulating substance. So let’s make it safer, what else would help unemployment and the lack of enthusiasm the Americans came roaring out of isolation with.


Disclaimer, I haven’t done crack but the risks of doing it are dropping faster than Biden’s approval rating.


The White House was fast (well for the White House standards at least) at shooting down the first reports of crack pipes being included in the “safe smoking kits.” What is, reportedly, in these kits are quoted as being “… alcohol swabs, lip balm, other materials to promote hygiene and reduce the transmission of diseases like HIV and hepatitis.” This is all from Psaki so take it as you will. What she said before she listed what will be in the kits was “may.” Yes, these are the things that “may” be in these super-duper safe smoking kits for dangerous drugs like opioids, that are destroying communities.

If you still doubt the seriousness of the opioid problem in America you need to wake up. The amount of people I know personally that struggle with these substances requires me to take off my shoes (crocs since I’m in Florida) to count. What’s really caused most people to go down this path of substance abuse isn’t that they are weak-minded, moronic, useless or even walking disasters of people, it is the lack of support there is for mental health issues. Drugs are just a way some people self-medicate to help them cope with their environment or situation. So making these self destructive behaviors “safer” with these kits is ridiculous. By the way, these kits will cost a total of about $10 million dollars of tax payer money annually for three years.


The whole idea of this is based off of “harm reduction to save lives.” People are creatures of opportunity, people will shoot themselves out of this dimension behind dumpsters, in crack houses, alleys, bathrooms and.. well, just about anywhere. These kits are just going to provide a false sense of safety. The White House says that they’re not going to be “handing out free crack pipes” but in a sense they are. Look at these “sanctuary cities” where you can shoot up, overdose and then get a free revival from Narcan. Now if you know any EMTs from those areas, ask them about how many calls for overdoses they have to go on. I know EMTs from the Atlantic coast to the Pacific, and let me tell you, it’s fucking gross. In San Francisco, a call for an overdose is prioritized over a gun shot wound. These Narcan revivals did exactly what I’m telling you the “safe smoking kits” will do. Lower the risk factor and crank up the usage.


“Don’t worry bro I’ve got an alcohol swab, you don’t gotta worry about that collapsed girl in the corner having HIV…”


The scariest thing about this is that the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration are the ones that believe this will actually have a positive impact. But hey, this whole administration thinks sky-rocketing housing cost, uncontrollable gas pricing and intense price gouging are signs of an economy bouncing back from Covid. Reminder, all this stuff we’re going through now because of the “pandemic” has been made significantly harder because of our response to the virus not the virus itself, think about that.

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