I know a lot of people would kill for my work schedule. I have a perpetual four day weekend. But this is one day I am quite thankful I am not at school today. I would have to suffer from an endless barrage of children trying to tell me April Fool’s jokes. From simple things to entirely confusing, convoluted nonsense that I wouldn’t believe even if I saw it right in front of me.
But nonetheless, I may have avoided the nonsense at work, I’ve been bludgeoned by it on social media.
Now, I am quite a cynical person. Just ask the Saco Drive-In fans who now hate me. But I too have been known to be fooled by a few things in my life. Me being legally blind has a lot to do with that. But being easily fooled visually has made me a less trusting person. I tend to look for more information and wait to react.
All of that being said, I did get fooled this morning. There have been a few big football signings in the past few weeks, and I thought I had staggered upon a huge trade before most of the big names. Here is what I read this morning from Justin Ramos (@NEPinsider) on Twitter:
Well, I immediately texted a good buddy of mine who is always “highly aggravated” with the Patriots not making big moves. But even before he responded, I happened upon the date. I quickly rescinded my comment and commenced kicking myself. At least I didn’t post about it here and soil the good name of Blind Owl Blogs. A tip of my cap goes to Justin. You got me chief.
But that wasn’t the end, and I’m not the only dumbass in the world. I stumbled upon a Tweet from former Patriots receiver and Super Bowl champion Julian Edelman. Have a look for yourself:
This joke was more obvious to me. First off, I know for a fact that Edelman would have to be traded in order to sign somewhere because he retired under contract with New England. Second, I knew the Boston media would have been all over this long before Edelman even had a chance to tweet something. And finally, most importantly, look at the bottom right corner. If I can see that, there are no excuses for anyone not seeing it. You’re just dumb and wanted to believe something.
One good example of these idiots is @No_Fish_Bish who had this to say in response to Edelman’s Tweet: “Dude Really …… shows that a player is running the team down there and that you truly walked away from New England with a Reason …. So be the man and tell us fans why you did us like that …..YES YOU” Whoa. Easy big fella. It was clearly a joke my guy. And a bit of advice, cool it with the periods. You’ve got a few too many there.
Needless to say, we should all be skeptical of everything we hear or read today. No matter what source, no matter how insignificant the information, question it. It may lead to needless arguments with your significant other or friends, but it will keep you safe from looking like a moron.
But…
To those who may have some bad news that needs to be shared and you’re not sure how to do it. This is your time. Have to tell your wife you got fired? Well this is the day to rip the Band-Aid off with a smaller chance of her trying to take your temperature the old fashioned way with a piece of lawn equipment. She won’t believe you and all you need to do is laugh when she does. There will be fireworks eventually, but you’ll hold them off for a while. Then when she gets mad that you didn’t tell her, just say “I told you April 1st.” It’s her fault for not believing you. Is it perfect? No. There is no perfect plan. But this could at least buy you time.
This same technique could be used by a major media source. Not only is it Friday, the typical “news dump” day, but it’s April Fool’s Day. Someone could tell a horrible story and actually get away with it for a while. Like I said, I’m not trusting anything that comes out today, so if you’ve got some bad news to dump, get right after it.
I know I’m showing my hand a bit here. And I also know Mrs. Blind Owl is going to read this on her lunch break and I won’t be able to pull any of this off. And for that reason, I’ll be hiding any long cylindrical item in the house somewhere high so she can’t reach it. Because I don’t need a prostate exam from my 34” Easton baseball bat…
So take my advice or don’t. Either way, don’t be the April Fool today.