Whether you’re a Republican, Democrat, Libertarian, Anarchist or card carrying Communist, you have been locked in to the midterm elections the past couple days. The political tension is palpable in all circles. You can feel it at work, school or just in public. The tension is thick and could be cut with a knife. It almost feels like we are just a blink away from a true explosion of political strife rivaled only by the era prior to the Civil War.
But in the darkest times, when we all think hope is lost, something comes out of the abyss to bring us all back together. Sometimes that thing is a political idea, a great military event, a natural disaster, a religious movement or just a normal person that comes to our rescue.
Well, look no further America, we have our savior, and his name is JOHN HINCKLEY!
You read that right. It isn’t one of my famous typos, John Hinckley is here to save us.
What am I talking about? Well, get ready to be blown away. Attempted Presidential assassin, former mental patient, John Hinckley is taking aim at political career! Hinckley announced on Twitter yesterday that he is starting a political party. In his announcement he had this to say, “I’m starting the National Redemption Party. We are for peace, love, racial equality, LGBTQ Rights, Abortion Rights, the Green New Deal. We oppose the Mob that controls the music industry…”
I’ll give you a moment to let that sink in.
You’ve got it right, an attempted murderer is starting a political party whose number one platform is that of peace. I am for peace and mutual respect as much as the next guy, but is a man who shot a President to impress an actress the guy to lead the way to harmony? I know we’ve had an eccentric billionaire with orange skin and a mumbling, future dementia patient as president, but isn’t that enough? Why not have someone who was locked in a mental institution for decades take the reins?
While reading the list of things Hinckley’s new National Redemption Party (NRP) reads a lot like the Democratic party. But there is one thing here that doesn’t seem like it fits. “We oppose the Mob that controls the music industry…” seems a little odd to be included in this “political” party’s mission. Well, like all of good ol’ J-Hinck, as I’m calling him, has a little bit of an agenda.
Johnny Boy has a budding music career, and has been getting his gigs canceled. Why’s that? You’re guess is as good as mine. Could it be the fact that he tried to kill the president that the conservative half of the country treats like a god? Come on, that’s not it. It has to be the “Mob” that controls the music industry keeping this generational talent down. I’m sure if it wasn’t for them, every J-Hinck track would be number one with a bullet!
Now that you know the NRP exists, I’m sure you’re like me and thought, “This has to be very exclusive. Only the real movers and shakers can be in this party that will change the world of politics and music.” Well my ignorant friend, that’s where you’re wrong. But don’t take it from me, hear it from the man himself: “To join the NRP send address to email@example.com to receive membership card.”
How could it be easier? Just send your address to a guy who has a history of obsessing over a person and trying to kill another, your home address. What could go wrong there? If you asked me, you’d be dumb not to.
I join greats like Blind Mike Geary by saying, I’m in! I know I’ll be sending an address to J-Hinck and joining the movement that will sweep the nation, and the WORLD! #NRP4Life