Oh man. It just keeps getting worse and worse for me. Not only do i suck at picking games this year, I forget to even put games on the Google Doc. Shame on me. But I think it’s even more of a shame that the guys didn’t notice it until Sunday at 5:30. I guess none of us can count to 16. Putting our idiocy aside, let’s see how we did in Week 5
Week 5 Records:
Blind Owl: 5-10
Concret3Cowboy: 8-7
BrendawnoftheDead: 7-8
All I can say is, ouch. I continue to suck. Some are saying I should leave the picking to the “sightees” out there. Well too bad. I’m sticking it out. Here are the totals for the season.
Total Records:
Blind Owl: 29-47-3
Concret3Cowboy: 33-43-3
BrendawnoftheDead: 32-44-3
These records are not really impressive. Compared to last year they’re downright putrid. Concret3Cowboy actually did a little research earlier this week and found some cool info. According to bettingpros.com, both he and Brendawn are in the top 30 of pickers; him at 26 and Brendawn at 29. Even my terrible performances have me ranked at 44th. Now I have no idea how many people are on this list, but that sounds pretty cool.
Can we move up the rankings? Or will we sink even further down the charts? Let’s take a look at Week 6. (Editor’s Note: The bye weeks started. I didn’t forget another game.)
WAS @ CHI: PICK
Blind Owl: You know something? This game is exactly what I need. I’ve been having trouble sleeping lately. I’m sure I’ll be asleep 2.5 minutes into the first quarter. Both of these teams stink, like really stink. We all know my thoughts on Justin Fields and I had hope for the Commanders. That hope is gone. I suppose I’ll take the Bears because they seem to be a slightly less bad team. This game will be offensive even to my lackluster eyes.
Concret3Cowboy: So, I had a fantasy hockey draft and sort of forgot this game was a thing.. really we’d all be better off if it wasn’t. But hey, at least you're not Amazon and paid to stream this right?
BrendawnoftheDead: It can't be worse than Denver vs Indy can it? Don't answer that. The Commanders are the most disgusting and dysfunctional team in North American professional sports from the top down. Justin Fields has no help and no accuracy. I guess I'll pick the Bears but honestly who cares…
NE @ CLE: CLE -2.5
Blind Owl: Still this morning, it says Mac Jones is questionable. New England would be dumb to start him damaged this week. Zappe has done what he needs to do. Giving Jones a little time to just sit and learn the offense while a rookie hangs in there and takes the abuse is a great plan. It’s all new to Zappe, so he doesn’t have to unlearn one offense to make room for another. I’m honestly surprised this wasn’t a pick’em situation. The Browns have looked good and bad this year. The Cowboy has picked every Browns game (except the one I forgot) correctly, so if he did his picks in a timely manner I’d just copy him. But he’s yet to do them as of 8:18am on Sunday morning. I’m going to take the Patriots and their defense to win this game straight up. I’ll take the 2.5 just in case.
Concret3Cowboy: The Patriots defense is going under the radar, at least for someone that isn’t actually in New England. This is going to be a game of running attacks and Cleveland’s run defense is garbage. I’m going to favor the better defense rather than the better run game, in Chubb. Patriots don’t just cover but they win.
BrendawnoftheDead: The Browns can't handle success. They can't finish the job and fail to put teams away when they have the opportunity. Chubb has a good game as usual, The Patriots will find a way to cover.
SF @ ATL: SF -5.5
Blind Owl: Jimmy G continues to make the 49ers look good as their “backup” QB. They beat up a bad Panthers team last week and that will continue against a slightly less bad Falcons team. Jimmy G wins big.
Concret3Cowboy: The Falcons have done good for me ATS. They covered against the Rams and against the Bucs last week. I don’t know if they cover this one here. The 49ers do also have a pretty banged up squad but Atlanta did just get rid of their young lineback that is a dog. I think Jimmy G is in rhythm being back as starter and the 49ers beat the birds pretty convincingly.
BrendawnoftheDead: They will never get over 28-3. Jimmy Geezus was on that Pats team. The curse continues. SF by a bunch.
NYJ @ GB: GB -7.5
Blind Owl: I said it last week. If Green Bay didn’t do me any good I was out on them. Well, they did me wrong, again. I picked them with big spreads against bad teams before, I’m not doing it again. I hate doing this, but I have to pick the Jets. It goes against everything I know about football, but I made a commitment to myself. I’ve got to stick with it.
Concret3Cowboy: I think Green Bay finally has that offensive game they have been waiting for. The Jets just don’t have a good pass rusher, or to be more accurate a serviceable pass rush. Yea the Jets dog walked the Dolphins last week.. Against a 3rd string QB. The Jets defensive squad is overrated and not a top 10 defense.
BrendawnoftheDead: The Packers have underwhelmed thus far. Rodgers is pouting for not having receivers but that is the fault of his contract. The Packers probably won but the Jets cover.
JAX @ IND: IND -2
Blind Owl: After picking the Jets, I’m feeling a little frisky. Something in me wants to pick the Jags. But my body will only allow me to pick the Jets or the Jags in one week, not both. Indy beat up my Broncos (and we’ll get to that) last week. It was an embarrassing display. So I’ll ride with the Colts and hope they can beat the perennial punching bag that is the Jags.
Concret3Cowboy: The Colts got shutout against the Jags already this season. That was in Jacksonville though. The Jags losing to the Texans last week was a typical divisional trap game. As overrated the Jets defense is, the Jags defense is underrated. Matt Ryan got abused last week against the Broncos and needed the extra days to get ready for this one. Now JT will be back so don’t completely trust this pick.
BrendawnoftheDead: Lawrence has come down to earth. Indy sucks but so does Jacksonville. Acid to the eyeballs is a preferred activity to watching this atrocity, but Indy covers.
MIN @ MIA: MIN -3.5
Blind Owl: Tua is cleared from concussion protocol, but it looks like he won’t be playing this week. Unfortunately for the Dolphins, no Tua, no picky no more. Captain Kirk and Justin Jefferson will have a field day.
Concret3Cowboy: Tua not playing this game is the NFL continuing to gaslight for player safety. So the Phins will continue to play their 3rd string QB (went great against the Jets last week). The Dolphins did remove their ping pong table, in an attempt to stop their players getting hurt? I’ve said it before, I am a big Captain Kirk fan. As underwhelming his play style is, I like that. Oh I need JJ to get me some points here, my fantasy team has no right being on top right now except for that dude.
BrendawnoftheDead: I hate picking Minnesota but I'm doing it anyway. Tyreek is banged up, Tua and Teddy have squishy brains, and Kirk isn't playing in prime time.
CIN @ NO: CIN -1.5
Blind Owl: I almost picked up Taysom Hill last week in fantasy, but I didn’t. Yes, he is a bit of a gimmick kind of player, and the media loves that kind of thing. But he showed how he can be a weapon. I think the Saints will try to force the issue with Hill this week. As much as I hate the Bengals and that DB Joe Burrow, I’m going to pick them here. A couple of big turnovers will seal it up for Cincy.
Concret3Cowboy: The problem with the Bengals is good pass rushes are destroying them. The Saints are really good up front. The Bengals are pretty one dimensional, having zero run game.. While having a good back shows how bad this offensive line is. Who Dat nation is going to be a little torn apart, they love Joe but they do love their Saints. This spread is tough, I’m picking the Bengals but if it was a 3 point spread, I would not.
BrendawnoftheDead: Who is playing QB for the Saints? Cincy wins.
BAL @ NYG: BAL -5.5
Blind Owl: Daniel Jones and the Giants have been hanging around in games they have no business being in. They even beat the Packers in London. Unfortunately for them, the Ravens are better than the Packers. Saquon will keep the G-Men in it for a while, but eventually Daniel Jones needs to make a big play. Which he’ll do, unfortunately it’ll be a big play for the Ravens. Baltimore wins by a TD.
Concret3Cowboy: The Giants are 4-1, goddamn Daboll is doing pretty good in the big apple. The Ravens are a weird squad, they want to control the ball and game but their defense can’t do that. I’m buying into the Giants here, they will cover. They play good football, and they’re defense has been really good. They keep it close.
BrendawnoftheDead: Lamar is too good. He will (read that again) lead the Ravens to victory. Also I don't trust Daniel Jones.
TB @ PIT: TB -8
Blind Owl: Ok. I said I was done with Tampa if they didn’t help me out. They beat Atlanta but didn’t cover so technically I shouldn’t be picking them. But it’s Pittsburgh. They’re terrible. Like really terrible. This is really your last chance Bucs. If you can’t cover this one I’m done with you.
Concret3Cowboy: Tampa still has a really good defense, they’re playing a rookie QB. This is the type of game where Tom Brady teams beat up a piss poor squad vigorously.
BrendawnoftheDead: Pittsburgh blows.
CAR @ LAR: LAR -10
Blind Owl: I didn’t think I’d say this but the Rams offense looks bad. They haven’t been able to score like we all thought they would. Meanwhile, there are talks of Carolina trading their best training room customer in Christian McCaffrey. That spells disaster for a Panthers team that might as well be named the Carolina Disasters. Hesitantly, I’ll take LA, but I’m not happy about how big the spread is.
Concret3Cowboy: Why do the Rams keep getting this huge favorite spreads? Yes, the Panthers have a new head coach and they have to travel across the country. The Rams offensive line is decimated, Brain Burns is a good player that hasn’t gotten the recognition yet. Like I picked Atlanta to cover when they traveled to LA, I’m taking the Panthers with the points here.
BrendawnoftheDead: Carolina also blows.
ARI @ SEA: ARI -3
Blind Owl: I’m riding with Geno Smith in fantasy this week. I couldn’t take Russell WIlson sucking anymore. If I’m going to lose I might as well lose while taking a risk. Arizona has been so disappointing all year. Seattle has continued to surprise people. I’ll take the points and go with Seattle and hope it’s a shootout.
Concret3Cowboy: Arizona hasn’t been good this year, until last week. They gave the best team in football a run for their money. Fitting that a disappointing team wasn’t disappointing in a loss. This is a tough one, I think Seattle will make it interesting and keep it close. Closer than 3 points though? Yes, they can take the win too.
BrendawnoftheDead: Both teams blow, just Arizona has slightly more talent. The man in the obnoxious green suit will finally get his act together or I'm cutting him from the fantasy squad. Do or die little man, do or die.
BUF @ KC: BUF -2.5
Blind Owl: Game of the year right here. A redo of one of the best football games I’ve ever watched, and possible playoff preview. This one is going to be crazy. All kinds of points will be scored and no defense will be played. Although, KC is a weaker team than last year. They don’t have Tyreek Hill and Mahomes hasn’t looked as unstoppable as he did a year back. Josh Allen on the other hand seems better. Diggs is still a stud, and the younger wideouts are doing good things. I’ve got to pick the Bills here. I’m predicting a big game by any skill players on either team.
Concret3Cowboy: The Bills have been waiting for this one. I like the Bills here more for what their defense can do. We all know this will be an offensive battle but that defense has a chip on their shoulder from blowing the game last year in the playoffs.
BrendawnoftheDead: JOSH ALLEN. I love how that guy plays. The Chiefs have less fire power than last year and they needed every bit of it to pull off the win. It will be extremely close, but the Bills win this one.
DAL @ PHI: PHI -6
Blind Owl: Again, going with it until it doesn’t work. Which is probably going to be this week. FEEL THE RUSH!!!
Concret3Cowboy: 6 points is a little much. Dallas, fuck it.
BrendawnoftheDead: Philly wins, Dallas covers. The legend of Cooper Rush grows. Dak who? How much are they paying that man? Why is Zeke still starting? What skeletons are in Jerry's closet? Does Dan Snyder actually know? These are the real questions.
DEN @ LAC: LAC -4.5
Blind Owl: Ok we’ve made it here. I will say it, in no uncertain terms. Are you listening, because this is important. Ok here it is. I HATE RUSSELL WILSON! He is a front runner. That was clear last year in Seattle. His team sucked and so did he. That kind of attitude has no place on any team I cheer for. I’d rather lose with a guy with a good attitude than this piece of Pete Carroll influenced, sad-sacking, pouty trash. Now they’re saying he has a phantom “lat” injury. I don’t know about most of you, but not seeing open receivers has nothing to do with a lat muscle. If his vision is that bad, then I think my beepball team has a spot in the lineup for him. Ahh, I feel better. I’m picking the Chargers by the way.
Concret3Cowboy: Picking the Chargers so I can sleep better at night.
BrendawnoftheDead: WHY IS DENVER PLAYING IN PRIME TIME!!?? CHARGERS BY A ZILLION.
